After losing her mother to cancer at age 6, Sam Houston State graduate Sami Horne spent years questioning God's goodness. Today, she helps other students discover the faith that changed her life.
Sami Horne was 6 years old when her father woke her and her sister in the middle of the night to tell them their mother had died.
Her mother had battled stomach cancer for about a year. Horne remembered watching her health decline, seeing her undergo chemotherapy treatments at home, and struggling to understand what was happening.
What made the loss especially difficult was knowing how deeply her mother loved Jesus. She had served in church, led small groups, and wanted others to experience God's love.
For Horne, the loss raised questions that would follow her for years.
She believed God existed, but she struggled to believe he was good.
Today, Horne is a 2025 graduate of Sam Houston State University and serves on staff with the Baptist Student Ministry. She shared her journey from anger and grief to faith and ministry with host Joshua Mahshi on Students of the Kingdom.
Questioning God's Goodness
After her mother's death, Horne grew increasingly angry with God.
She couldn't understand why someone who loved and served him would experience so much suffering or why her family had been left without a mother.
Although she occasionally identified herself as a Christian, she privately rejected much of what she had heard about God's character.
"I don't think you're good. I don't think you are who you say you are," she recalled telling God.
Horne continued through school, focusing on grades, friendships, and earning people's approval. She described herself as reserved and sometimes unkind toward others.
She had little interest in attending church until a friendship during her sophomore year of high school began changing her perspective.
A fellow trombone player in marching band invited Horne to a Wednesday night youth gathering.
Horne accepted, primarily because she enjoyed spending time with her friend.
The gathering included games, a bonfire, and opportunities to meet other students. She enjoyed it enough to return.
Soon, Wednesday nights at church became routine. Eventually, her friend began inviting her to Sunday services and welcoming her into the family's home.
Horne noticed how naturally faith was woven into their daily lives. Her friend regularly read Scripture, prayed, and shared what she was learning.
Church leaders welcomed Horne, answered her questions, and continued to invest in her even after she made it clear she wasn't interested in following Jesus.
A Night That Changed Everything
The turning point came during Collide, a weekend gathering for youth groups from churches in the area.
During a small-group discussion about loving others, Horne began recognizing how poorly she had treated people.
Later that weekend, she experienced something she struggled to explain.
"I felt the presence of God for the first time ever," Horne said.
She described an overwhelming sense of peace and comfort, unlike anything she had previously experienced.
Confused but curious, she approached her small-group leader, Taylor, who began sharing the gospel with her.
Initially, Horne resisted. She still carried years of anger over her mother's death.
But as the conversation continued, she began reconsidering what she believed.
That evening, Horne prayed aloud, asking Jesus to change her life.
She didn't suddenly understand why her mother had died. Instead, she found peace in accepting that she might never know.
"I'm not going to ever have all the answers," she said. "And I'm not going to know why the Lord called my mom home when he did or all of that stuff."
Later that night, Horne learned that her friend's family, church leaders, and small-group members had been praying for her.
She began recognizing how many people had invested in her life long before she was willing to listen.
Finding Community at Sam Houston State
After becoming a Christian, Horne began meeting regularly with Angela, her pastor's wife, who helped her learn to study Scripture, pray, and grow in her faith.
When high school graduation approached, Horne worried about leaving the church community that had supported her.
She found a new community through the Baptist Student Ministry at Sam Houston State.
There, she developed relationships with mentors, learned to share her faith, and began investing in other students.
One experience brought her journey full circle.
Horne returned to Collide, the gathering where she had become a Christian, this time as a leader.
She met a young girl who had also lost a parent and was struggling with many of the same questions Horne once faced.
On the final night, the girl approached Horne wanting to know more about Jesus.
After talking through her questions, the girl decided to become a Christian.
Horne recognized how her own painful experiences had prepared her to encourage someone facing similar circumstances.
"I don't know why you have called my mom home so early," she recalled telling God. "But I am getting to witness with my own eyes. You take the darkest moment of my life and turn it into something so beautiful."
Learning to Trust God's Provision
Horne's faith was also tested financially during college.
After her freshman year, she felt called to work at a Christian summer camp. Her father worried the position wouldn't provide enough money for her to continue attending Sam Houston State.
As the summer ended, those concerns appeared justified.
Then camp leaders announced scholarships for staff members.
Horne initially received $1,500, followed by an additional $1,000 in donations. At the end-of-summer banquet, she was selected to receive another $5,000 scholarship.
The $7,500 total was enough for her to return to school.
When she called her father with the news, he broke down in tears.
A similar experience occurred when Horne wanted to participate in a mission trip. After struggling to raise the required funds, she was preparing to withdraw when someone donated the remaining amount.
Horne said those experiences strengthened her trust in God's provision and helped her father become more receptive to her ministry work.
Turning Pain Into Purpose
Horne graduated from Sam Houston State in May 2025 with a degree in education and joined the Baptist Student Ministry staff.
Today, she helps students navigate their faith, develop relationships and find Christian community.
Her experiences have given her a particular heart for young people grieving the loss of a parent.
She also continues praying for her father and siblings, hoping they will experience the faith that transformed her life.
Horne doesn't believe following Jesus eliminates hardship. Instead, she says faith has changed how she approaches difficult circumstances.
"He's working under the surface, whether you can see it or not," she said.
For the little girl who once questioned how God could be good after losing her mother, that conviction has become central to her life.
She still carries the grief of losing her mother, but she now uses that experience to help others find hope.
About Sami Horne
Sami Horne graduated from Sam Houston State University in 2025 with a degree in education and serves on staff with the Baptist Student Ministry in Huntsville. She shared her testimony on Students of the Kingdom, hosted by Joshua Mahshi, a series highlighting how Jesus is transforming the lives of college students and ministry leaders.