Back home from a childcare conference in the Dominican Republic and recovering from illness, Kaye Boehning writes about beginning again from where you are
Well...
I'm back.
Last week, Charlotte and Rob read my Monday Morning Mindset because I was out of the country attending a childcare conference in the Dominican Republic.
Before I left, I was already worried about what would be waiting for me when I came home.
I wasn't exactly going on vacation. I was going to a conference, learning, meeting people, getting new ideas and, hopefully, finding a little time to enjoy being in the Dominican Republic while I was there.
But while I was gone, my regular work wasn't going to stop.
The emails would keep coming.
Decisions would still need to be made.
Things would happen at the schools.
Projects would continue.
And I knew that when I came home, there would be a pile waiting for me.
So before I left, I did what many of us do.
I tried to get ahead so I wouldn't come home quite so far behind.
There's an interesting sentence:
Work extra hard before you leave so you can go away for work and come home with less work.
I'm not sure the math on that actually works.
But that was the plan.
Then I came home...
and got sick.
For the last couple of days, instead of digging into everything waiting for me, I've been doing very little.
So now I have the work that accumulated while I was gone, the things I learned at the conference that I want to follow up on, the normal things that need my attention...
and two days when I haven't felt well enough to tackle much of any of it.
I feel horribly behind.
And maybe that's exactly why I need this week's Monday Morning Mindset as much as anyone else.
Because when life doesn't cooperate with the schedule we created, we really have only two choices:
We can spend our energy worrying about where we should be.
Or...
we can start where we are.
You Can't Start From Where You Were Supposed to Be
I think we waste a lot of energy arguing with reality.
"I should have had this finished by now."
"I should have answered that."
"I should be farther along."
"I should have gotten more done before I left."
Maybe.
But I didn't.
I went to a conference.
I learned.
I traveled.
I came home.
I got sick.
And now it's today.
That's reality.
No amount of worrying about what I didn't accomplish yesterday is going to give me yesterday back.
There's only one place I can begin:
Where I actually am.
Not where I planned to be.
Not where I think I should be.
Here.
Today.
Feeling Behind Doesn't Mean Everything Is Urgent
This is probably the part I need to hear most.
When I feel behind, my instinct is to speed up.
Answer everything.
Fix everything.
Catch everything.
Work longer.
Push harder.
Suddenly every item on my list starts looking like an emergency.
But it isn't.
Some things genuinely need my attention.
Some things can wait.
Some things can be delegated.
Some things may have already been handled while I was gone.
And there may even be a few things that seemed terribly important a week ago that don't matter nearly as much now.
Feeling behind doesn't turn everything into an emergency.
It just means I need to decide what matters most.
Everything Looks Bigger in a Pile
One email is manageable.
A full inbox feels overwhelming.
One decision is manageable.
Ten decisions waiting for you feel exhausting before you've made the first one.
That's what a pile does.
It makes us look at everything at once.
But we don't actually have to do everything at once.
So instead of asking:
"How am I going to get all of this done?"
I'm trying to ask:
“What needs my attention first?”
That's a much better question.
Overwhelm says:
"Everything!"
Wisdom asks:
“What first?”
Rest Still Counts
This part is particularly inconvenient this week.
When you're already behind, resting feels irresponsible.
There's work waiting.
There are emails waiting.
There are people waiting.
Surely the responsible thing is to push through.
Except sometimes pushing through when your body is telling you to stop doesn't get you caught up.
It just keeps you sick longer.
I don't particularly like that answer.
I'd prefer something involving a checklist.
But sometimes the next right thing really is rest.
There will always be more work.
There is only one me to do it.
Taking care of that person occasionally seems like a reasonably good business strategy.
Imagine that.
Don't Miss What You Gained While You're Looking at What Piled Up
There's another side to this.
Yes, work accumulated while I was gone.
But I also went somewhere.
I learned things.
I met people.
I heard ideas.
I had conversations.
I saw things from a different perspective.
I invested time in becoming better at what I do.
Sometimes we focus so much on what didn't get done while we were away that we forget to value what happened because we went.
Growth takes time too.
Learning takes time.
Relationships take time.
New experiences take time.
Not every productive hour ends with something crossed off a list.
Sometimes the result shows up months or years later.
Grace Isn't Only Something We Give Other People
If someone on my team had traveled to a conference, come home sick and told me she felt horribly behind, what would I tell her?
Probably:
"Take care of yourself. We'll figure it out."
I doubt I'd say:
"Well, you'd better work twice as hard until midnight."
Yet we sometimes expect things from ourselves we would never expect from someone else.
Grace doesn't mean avoiding responsibility.
It means recognizing reality.
Sometimes things happen.
Sometimes we're tired.
Sometimes we're sick.
Sometimes the schedule changes.
Sometimes our best plan doesn't survive contact with Monday morning.
We're human.
God already knows that.
Maybe we should remember it too.
Do the Next Right Thing
So here's my very sophisticated plan for getting caught up.
Ready?
Do the next right thing.
One email.
One conversation.
One decision.
One project.
One step.
Then another.
I'm going to decide what actually needs my attention first.
I'll figure out what can wait.
I'll delegate what someone else can handle.
I'll probably discover a few things have already been taken care of without me.
And eventually I'll work through the pile.
That's how most big things happen anyway.
Not all at once.
One small decision at a time.
Your Challenge for the Week
Maybe you feel behind too.
Maybe it's work.
Maybe it's money.
Maybe it's your house.
Maybe it's your health.
Maybe it's a project.
Maybe you simply thought you'd be farther along in life by now.
Stop measuring yourself against where you thought you were supposed to be.
Ask instead:
Where am I right now?
What actually matters today?
What is the next right thing I can do from here?
Then do that.
When it's finished, choose again.
A Lesson I'm Still Learning
I like forward motion.
I like progress.
I like checking things off.
So sitting still when I already feel behind is not particularly comfortable for me.
But maybe that's part of the lesson.
I don't have to make every day impressive.
I don't have to accomplish enough today to compensate for yesterday.
And I don't have to punish myself because life didn't follow the schedule I created.
I just have to be faithful with the day I've been given.
Some days that means accomplishing a tremendous amount.
Some days it means learning something new.
Some days it means serving someone else.
And apparently...
some days it means staying home sick.
All of those days still count.
Final Thought
Maybe your week didn't go according to plan either.
Don't waste today being angry that yesterday didn't cooperate.
Start where you are.
Take care of what genuinely needs your attention.
Let some things wait.
Ask for help.
Rest if you need rest.
Then take one step.
And another.
Eventually you'll look up and realize the pile isn't quite as big.
The emails will get answered.
The decisions will get made.
The work will get done.
And hopefully, somewhere along the way, you'll realize something:
Being behind is a temporary condition. It doesn't have to become a state of mind.
You don't have to catch up with the life you thought you were going to have this week.
You only have to live the one that's actually in front of you.
So start there.
Start where you are.
References
- Sharma, Robin. The Everyday Hero Manifesto. HarperCollins, 2021.
- Matthew 6:34.
- Matthew 11:28–30.
- Psalm 46:10.
- Psalm 118:24.
- Proverbs 16:9.
- 2 Corinthians 12:9.
**Remember... life isn't changed by one big decision. It's changed by the little decisions we make every day. Today's small choices become tomorrow's legacy. So choose wisely, love deeply, keep learning, and keep growing. Until next Monday, have a wonderful week... and keep building your legacy, one small choice at a time.**