The information in this column is not intended as legal advice but to provide a smile during this holiday season. Any readers with a legal problem should take a break this week; life is precious, so enjoy your family and friends now and return to the real world after January 2, 2026.
Merry Christmas! As an Aggie, I love tradition, and it is time yet again for another great Christmas tradition. This makes the 25th year. So, gather your parties around the fire or window unit (if in Texas), whether plaintiff or defendant, ad litem, guardian, or children (natural-born and adopted), to hear 'The Night Before Christmas, Legally Speaking.'
Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”), a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive sometime thereafter.
The minor residents, i.e., the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e., dreams, wherein visions of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts, and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort, and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as “I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., a kerchief and a cap.)
Suddenly, and without prior notice and warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause, and/or circumstance. The party of the first part immediately rushed to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such a disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter “the Vehicle”), being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction, and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer”). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named “Rudolph” may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle, and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys, and other items of unknown origin or nature.
Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stockings of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts (Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minors pursuant to the applicable provisions of the Internal Revenue Code (“I.R.C.”)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose, and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.”
Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination. However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer, and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim:
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”
Or words to that effect.
Respectfully Submitted,
The Grinch, Esquire
I enjoy publishing this each year and wish I could give the original author credit, but unfortunately, he remains unknown (although a certain family member has often attempted to take credit). MERRY CHRISTmas EVERYBODY!!!
Sam A. Moak is an attorney with the Huntsville law firm of Moak & Moak, P.C. He is licensed to practice in all fields of law by the Supreme Court of Texas, is a Member of the State Bar College, and is a member of the Real Estate, Probate and Trust Law Section of the State Bar of Texas. www.moakandmoak.com ©